Family Matters (1989–1998)
Reginald VelJohnson: Carl Winslow, Big Daddy Urkel
Photos
Quotes
-
Carl : Go home, Steve.
Steve Urkel : But Carl...
Carl : Go home, Steve!
Steve Urkel : Now, Big Guy...
Carl : Go home! Go home! Go home!
Steve Urkel : I don't have to take this! I'm going home!
-
Carl : 3, 2, 1... 1, 2, 3... What the heck is bothering me?
-
Carl : [after kicking Steve out of the house] And don't you ever come back!
Steve Urkel : What did you say?
Carl : Oh, you heard me, don't ever come back.
Steve Urkel : I will not be bullied! I love this lady
[Laura]
Steve Urkel : and I can come over here anytime I want to and you... can't... stop... me!
-
[someone has just smashed into Lt. Murtaugh's classic car]
Lt.Murtaugh : Do you know that woman Winslow?
Carl : Yes, I do. Hi mom!
Estelle Winslow : Carl! Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway.
-
[after having stepped on Steve's bug]
Carl : Who is Pablo?
Steve Urkel : [Pointing to the floor] Him. And him. And... OOHHH, and him!
-
Carl : What's up?
Steve Urkel : Well, actually, this is Eddie's story. All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'
Eddie : That's enough, Steve.
Steve Urkel : Mmmhmm, that's right.
-
Steve Urkel : I've invented nuclear batteries.
Carl : Where did you get the plutonium?
Steve Urkel : Radio Shack.
-
Carl : I just had the worst day of my entire life. I was in a high-speed car chase and ran out of gas.
-
[Making lemon tarts]
Carl : Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those.
Rachel Crawford : I'm what?
[Turns and squirts filling on Carl's shirt]
Carl : You shot your bag at me!
-
Carl : Nice flowers.
Steve Urkel : Thanks! Before getting over, I stopped by at the cemetery!
-
Eddie : [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. You don't want to get fried.
Carl : Son, I am no neophyte when it comes to electronics. This wire will be connected to this cord and this cord is not plugged in.
Steve Urkel : [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy!
[plugs the cord into the socket]
Carl , Eddie : [after Carl gets shocked from the electrical current] STEVE!
-
Carl : I needed a good laugh.
Steve Urkel : You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories?
Carl : Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh?
-
Carl : There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him.
Harriette : Well, tell him you don't remember him.
Carl : I can't tell him I don't remember him! Because, I already told him I do remember him. So, if I tell him I don't remember him, I'll look like a jerk and I still won't remember him.
Harriette : Well, if he remembers you, he's used to you looking like a jerk.
-
Carl : Uh-oh. That's Lt. Murtaugh. This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet!
[runs upstairs]
Estelle 'Mother' Winslow : Carl hasn't moved that fast since he chased a doughnut down hill.
-
[looking through a vacation pamphlet]
Eddie : Look at those beaches.
Laura : Look a those sunsets.
Rachel Crawford : Look at those men.
Carl : Look at that buffet.
-
Steve Urkel : I've taken a vow of chastity.
Carl : Steve, you've always been chaste.
Steve Urkel : Yeah, but now I have an excuse.
-
Carl : Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom?
Steve Urkel : You yelled at me and you called me a butthead!
Carl : Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead?
Steve Urkel : Yes! It was my nickname in preschool!
-
Carl : Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it.
Estelle Winslow : Your great grandfather's name was Lester. Carl was his horse.
-
[bringing Steve over]
Carl : He's all yours.
[leaves]
Laura : Well, he's all yours, Eddie.
[leaves]
Steve Urkel : Face it. You're stuck.
-
Steve Urkel : Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura.
Carl : Uh, she's in the shower.
Steve Urkel : Thanks.
[heads for the stairs - Carl grabs him by his suspenders]
Steve Urkel : I almost got ya there, Carl.
-
Carl : You know, bowling was a great idea. I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week.
[Steve enters]
Steve Urkel : Hi everybody!
Carl : I just thought of a reason.